A Time to Weep
by Roxane
Summary: This takes place immediately after the end of The Gift. (formerly titled Aftermath
1. Default Chapter

A lifeless heart should not hurt this much

Title:Aftermath (1/?)

Author: Roxane

Feedback:Is the best thing ever!Send to roxsedai@nycap.rr.com

Archive: Sure, take it…just let me know where.

Spoilers: Up to and including The Gift

Rating: R

Disclaimer:If I owned Spike, I would not be wasting my time writing fiction! g

Summary: This takes offwhere the finale ended.

Author's note:This is my first ever Buffy fic.I hope I do this wonderful show justice.

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A lifeless heart should not hurt this much.

Spike lowered his hands and looked towards the Slayer's body, once again feeling a hard iron fist grip his heart, squeezing tight.He swung away, feeling a great need to run, to get as far away as possible, but a movement in the shadows caught his eye.A low growl sounded in his throat as he saw three of Glory's minions gathering around Ben's body, and in a flash, his grief funneled into a thundering rage, pain giving way to a familiar, welcome blood lust, and the demon within transformed his face as he launched himself at the minions with a howl, grabbing the first one by the head and snapping his neck with one vicious twist.The second died just as quickly, and Spike slowly turned his feral eyes towards the third, baring his fangs in a snarling simulation of a smile.

"You picked the wrong god to worship, little beastie."

With sinuous grace, he stalked the quivering creature, backing him into a wall.

The doomed toady's eyes darted around, frantically searching escape, and they brightened at seeing the strong rays of morning sunlight beaming down less than a yard from where he stood.He shuffled sideways, keeping one wary eye on the beast who menaced him, then lunged out of the shadows.

Unfortunately for him, death followed him into the light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn stared numbly at her sister's body.Alone.She was all alone now.No Mom.No Buffy.No one.

Who was going to take care of her?What if someone else wanted the Key?How could she ever feel safe again?The only other person she'd ever felt safe with since this whole Key thing started was…

_Spike.Oh, my God.Where's Spike?_

_ _

She moved down the last few steps from the tower as fast as her wounds would allow, scanning the area for the vampire.She reached Giles and jerked on his arm.

The man stared at Buffy without responding

She jerked harder."Giles."

He turned empty eyes toward her.

"Giles, where's Spike?"

"Spike?"The name was little more than a breath.

"Where is he?Giles!"

Panic welled in her chest as she looked around at the rest of Buffy's friends, but none of them seemed to care that the vampire was missing.

A shriek sounded to her left and she gasped as she saw Spike standing in a patch of sunlight holding one of the minions by the throat.As she watched, smoke began to curl from Spike's exposed skin, but he just held the minion there, smiling as it writhed and whimpered in terror.

"No," Dawn moaned.

She hobbled towards him, sobbing his name.Seconds later, fire sprouted on the skin of Spike's hands.She screamed.

"Spike!"

His head snapped towards the sound of her voice, his face smoothing into his human one, giving the minion a brief flare of hope before Spike almost absentmindedly cracked his neck and flung him aside.Spike opened his arms as Dawn charged into him, knocking him backwards out of the shafts of light, and he cushioned her body with his as they fell to the ground.Dawn scrambled off of him as soon as they hit the ground and reached for his hands to inspect the burns.

"Leave off, Little Bit." Spike brushed her hands away from him, avoiding her eyes as he got to his feet. 

"Spike, you were on fire."

"Doesn't matter…"Spike's voice trailed off and he sniffed the air.His eyes narrowed as he looked down at the slashes in the gown Glory had made her wear. "You're bleeding."

"That…"Her lips trembled and she squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath before continuing. "That man cut me."

He crouched down next to her and eased her into his arms, a reassuring smile appearing on his blood- and tear-streaked face."We'll get you fixed up, poppet.Not to worry."

Dawn wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered her head to his shoulder as he rose and strode towards the others, keeping to the shadows and coming to a halt several yards from where Giles knelt next Buffy.Spike trained his eyes on Giles's hunched back.

"Giles."

Giles slowly took one of Buffy's hands in his and stroked the back.

"Watcher."Spike bit the word out.

Giles stiffened his back, but didn't turn around."Yes?"

"The little one here needs medical attention.Now."

Giles stood and faced them."Yes.Dawn.Of course."

Xander stepped forward."Anya, too."

Anya shook her head and buried her face against his neck. "I would like to go to our home now, Xander."

He frowned."But, you're hurt…"

Her face crumpled."Please.Take me home."

He nuzzled his face against hers and nodded in understanding."Okay."He looked at the others."Will you guys…?"

Willow, still supported by Tara, moved closer to him."We'll take care of things.You take her home, okay?" 

Her eyes met his and she tried to smile.Still holding Anya, Xander leaned towards Willow.With one gulping breath, she stood on tiptoe and wrapped one arm around his shoulders, holding him tight and blinking rapidly.Xander closed his eyes and pressed his cheek to hers.

"I love you, Will," he said, his voice low.

Her body shook and she clutched him tighter as she choked out,"Love you, too."

She took a deep breath and stepped back, pausing to clasp Anya's hand in hers."Take care."

Anya nodded and with one last look at Buffy, Xander carried her away.Willow turned back to Giles, sparing a glance for Spike, who was rapidly growing impatient.

"Giles?"He looked blankly at Willow."Tara and I can…we'll stay here, okay?"

"Yes.I suspect there will be questions to answer."

Spike shifted Dawn in his arms, and seeing her wince, he lost what little patience he had had."Well, you can answer the bleedin' questions later.The girl is hurt here."

Giles's eyes finally focused and he nodded."Yes.All right then.I'll…I'll take Dawn to the hospital."

Spike agreed with a sharp nod."And be quick about it."

Giles held out his arms, and Spike started to hand the girl over, but she resisted, curling her fists into his coat."No, wait…Spike…"

Eyebrows raised, he looked down into her anxious face."What's all this?"

"Couldn't you take me to the hospital?"

"Can't."He cocked his head in the direction of the encroaching sun."Not unless you'd care to see me burn for good this time.Off you go."

He transferred her to Giles's waiting arms and strode away through the rapidly receding shadows.

"No, wait."Dawn pushed against Giles's chest until he set her on her feet."Spike!Wait!"

He halted, stiffening his neck and closing his eyes for just a second before heaving a sigh and facing her with a blank expression.

She held one arm across her wounded stomach, gripping the skirt of her gown with the other."You could come later, though, right?"

He looked at her without answering, and she walked forward to stare up at him with pleading, tear-drenched eyes.

"Please?"

He squinted at her and chewed on his lower lip before shaking his head."The fighting's all done now, Bitelet.No need for me to be hanging about anymore."

"_I _need you."

His eyes widened, and that fist gripped his heart again, only this time it wasn't quite so painful.He blinked and tried to ignore the lump in his throat.

"You'll be fine.Giles here'll take good care of you."

She stepped even closer, clenching her jaw to keep it from trembling.

"_Please_."

He looked over her shoulder at Giles, and the Watcher gave him a slight, resigned nod. "All right.Tonight.After dark.Now go."

He nudged her gently towards Giles, but she held her ground, chin thrust in the air.

"Promise?"

His eyes darkened."Yeah, I promise."He looked away, shrugging."For what that's worth."

The tension left her body and she nodded."Okay.Tonight."

Giles cupped Dawn's shoulders in his hands."Come along, Dawn."

She allowed him to lead her away, looking over her shoulder at Spike as she went.Spike watched until she disappeared from sight then heaved a huge sigh.

"Bloody hell."


	2. Aftermath Part 2

Spike stumbled through the door of his crypt, slamming it behind him and throwing the smoldering blanket he had been using as 

Title:Aftermath (2/?)

Author: Roxane

Feedback:Gives me warm fuzzies…and I really need them!gSend to roxsedai@nycap.rr.com

Archive: Sure, take it…just let me know where. (And Trish…yeah, you can have the first part too.Still can't find your post!You people are hard to keep up with! g)

Spoilers:Up to and including The Gift

Rating: R

Disclaimer:If I owned Spike, I would not be wasting my time writing fiction!

Summary:What happens after the season five finale.

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Tara looked from Willow to Spike, knowing they were both hurting…and knowing that there was little she could do about it.As Willow went to crouch next to Buffy's body lying still on the pile of rubble, Tara crossed to stand next to Spike, clearing her throat a little apprehensively.Even knowing he couldn't hurt her, he still made her nervous, and it was always wise to be extra careful when approaching a wounded beast.

"Sp-Spike?"His gaze never left Buffy and Willow."Spike, you need to go now."

She looked towards the sun, worry creasing her forehead.She took a deep breath and moved in front of him, blocking his view of Buffy.She took an involuntary step backwards when his hard stare settled on her.She swallowed.

"The sun – the sun's almost completely up.You have to go."She looked over her shoulder at Willow and Buffy, then back to him, compassion in her eyes."There's nothing more you can do here."

He stared at her with narrowed eyes, one muscle flexing in his jaw, then turned and walked away without a word.She released her breath in a rush and went to Willow, putting one hand on her shoulder.Willow's hands fluttered towards Buffy, but she pulled them back without touching her, wringing them fiercely.

"She looks uncomfortable.Don't you think she looks uncomfortable?"Willow looked up at Tara, and Tara's heart clenched at the anguish in her love's eyes. 

"I – I don't think we're supposed to move her."

"But...she looks so…"Her voice broke and she inhaled a shaky breath."We can't just leave her there like that."

Tara squeezed Willow's shoulder, looking uncertainly at Buffy, and she felt Willow's hand creep into hers.

"Tara.Please.Help me."

She was unable to resist the beseeching voice, so she nodded and, hands clasped tightly together, they concentrated on Buffy, and slowly her body rose from the debris and floated to a clear spot.Tara helped Willow to her feet and they went to stand next to Buffy, Tara putting one arm around Willow.

"I can't believe this is happening," Willow said, her voice low and soft."I mean…I knew – we all knew – this could happen some day, but I – I just never believed it would.Buffy was so strong, so…so full of life.This shouldn't have happened. I should have helped her more.She said I was the only one who could hurt Glory, but I – I didn't even…I wasn't helping enough. I should have helped more, Tara."

"No."Tara lifted one hand and cupped Willow's cheek."Don't talk that way.This isn't your fault."

"But – but I could have…"Her voice trailed off.

Tara looked steadily into Willow's eyes."Willow, I think Buffy's at peace now.More than anything, she wanted to save Dawn, and she did.She wouldn't want you to feel guilty."

Willow shook her head, the breath beginning to come rapidly in her chest."But…maybe…I could have…I should have…"

Tara pulled Willow firmly to her, wrapping her arms tightly around her stiff body.After one moment of resistance, Willow clutched Tara and let the gut-wrenching sobs come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike crawled through the opening in the floor of his crypt, for once not bothering to slide the slab of concrete back into place.He then lifted the whiskey bottle he had clutched in his fist to his lips, preparing to drink deeply, only to stare at it in frustration when he found it already empty.He tossed it away and lifted his other hand and twisted the cap off a new bottle.This time, before drinking, he lifted the bottle in the air in salute.

"To the Slayer."

He swayed a bit as he tilted his head back for a long swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and raising the bottle again.

"To Buffy.Who made my life a bloody torment."

He lowered his arm, letting his shoulders slump and his head fall forward.

"And she torments me still."

His jaw clenched and he squeezed his eyes shut before jerking the whiskey back to his mouth, gulping the liquor in fierce drags.He lowered the bottle and with a deep groan, he whirled around and hurled the bottle against a wall, training suddenly angry eyes heavenward.

"This is _not_ how it was supposed to be, Slayer!I came back to Sunnydale to kill you, to rid the world of this one pesky girl, for the good of all demonkind.It was to be the moment of my greatest triumph, a return to the Spike of old - killing, feeding, ruling the world.I dreamed of this day.I _longed_ for it.

He shook his head and began to walk, his voice growing stronger and harder.

"But, you really did it to me good, didn't you, Buffy?Pathetic, wouldn't you say?Could blame the chip, say it's all the sodding chip's fault, but it was _you_. Dru was right.She saw it.She knew what was what.I was covered in you, filled with thoughts of you.You, with your hot little Slayer's body.And the hair. And the eyes, those bloody eyes.Slayers aren't supposed to have vulnerable eyes.Slayers are supposed to fight and kill and be killed, but I -"He stopped pacing and leaned against a stone pillar, shaking his head at the ceiling. "I could never kill you.Couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried.And God knows I tried.But you - God, like no other Slayer I'd ever known.Strength, courage - they all had that. You were different.You had…love."

He rested his head against the pillar, closing his eyes.

"Love, Buffy.Love, life…you _lived_, more than any other Slayer I've ever known.You embraced life, you took what any other Slayer would consider weaknesses and for you, they made you better, made you stronger.Do you have any idea how compelling that is?"

His eyes opened he shoved himself away from the pillar, anger coloring his voice again.

"I'm a bloody vampire, for God's sake, and I couldn't resist.For over a hundred years, I drew power from death and hatred.I gloried in my evil, I relished every kill, I reveled in the darkness until you came along and made me long for something I'd given up without a moment's regret, something I remembered with nothing but disdain for the weak fool that I was." 

He staggered into a wall, bracing himself with one hand to keep from falling over.

"And, oh _God_, you had me envying the likes of Angel, and even the Good Little Soldier Boy.They knew your love, felt your touch, held your heart.And the stupid bloody bastards left you!Here's me," he rapped himself on the chest "hanging about like some lovesick little puppy, hoping someday to get a little pat on the head, and those wankers have your love and they leave!Where were they when you needed them?And who did you turn to in your time of need?Spike, that's who, God damn it!" 

He slapped the wall for emphasis.

"Good old Spike, who's good enough to die for you but not good enough to love!"

He smacked the wall harder.

"Lookin' at me with those great big eyes. 'Help me, Spike'. "

His hand curled into a fist and he punched the wall.

" 'You're the only one strong enough, Spike.' "

He punched it with greater force and little chips flew from the stone.

" 'We're not all going to make it, Spike.' "

With a roar, he slammed his fist into the wall with all his strength, making a large section crumble into dust. A raw gasp of pain escaped his lips and he felt his legs give out. He sagged against the wall, dropping to his knees, his mangled hand leaving a trail of blood as it slid down the wall.He pressed his face against the cold, hard stone, closing his eyes as great, soundless sobs began to wrack his body.He took in huge gulps of unnecessary air and his voice when he spoke was a hoarse, broken rasp.

"It should have been me, Buffy.It should have been me."

To Be Continued


	3. Part 3

Xander couldn't cry

Xander couldn't cry.

He'd been sitting in the same chair for hours, thinking about the events of the last few days, and in some dim, abstract way, he marveled that he couldn't cry.One of the most important people in his life - maybe the person who had affected his life more than anyone - was dead, and his eyes were dry as the desert.

Anya stirred on the bed, and immediately Xander moved to sit next to her.She winced as she rolled over, squinting as she opened her eyes.

"Xander?"

"I'm here."He smiled as he reached out a hand and smoothed the hair out of her face."How's my girl?"

"I'm okay."Concern darkened her eyes."How are you?"

He shrugged, avoiding her eyes."Hey, all I did was hit the Hellbitch with a big old ball."

"And you displayed remarkable timing and accuracy.I'm very proud of you," she stated firmly.

He smiled slightly and ran his fingers in a soft caress down her cheek."Have I thanked you for saving my life?"

"Xander..."

"And have I told you _never_ do that again?That's a visual I'm not getting out of my head for a while."

"Like I'm going to stand by and watch a wall fall on you!You are _not_ Wile E Coyote and you could have been smashed flat."

"Better me than you." 

He put one finger to her lips when she started to protest again and reached into his pocket with a tentative smile. He pulled out the small black box and flipped the top open, extending it toward her.

"The world didn't end."

She pushed herself to a sitting position, smiling a trembling, wondering smile."No, it didn't."

He took the ring out of the box and picked up her hand, carefully sliding the ring on her finger.She turned her hand, watching the diamond sparkle, and raised her eyes to beam brightly at Xander.The smile dipped.

"Xander?"

"I'm sorry."He shook his head, blinking rapidly and taking several deep breaths. "Anya, I've never been happier.I'm happy.Very happy.I _am_ happiness – "

"Xander."

She simply opened her arms.He buried his face against her chest and she wrapped her arms around him, smoothing his hair and murmuring wordless sounds of comfort as he finally felt the tears come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A piercing scream ripped through the night.

Spike started awake and rolled over with a groan. He was lying on the floor near the wall where he must have sunk into a whiskey- and grief-induced stupor. He rose to his feet and made his way to his armchair, collapsing into and putting his hand down next to it to retrieve a bottle of wine he kept stashed there.

Another cry came from outside the crypt. He figured a vampire was having a bit of fun with some stray human who had been stupid enough to come near the cemetery after dark.A third shrill scream was enough for Spike.He surged to his feet and stalked over to the door and yanked it open, hearing the vampire laugh as he did.

"Oh, bloody hell."He still couldn't see them, so he just shouted to the cemetery at large."Didn't your mum ever teach you not to play with your food?Just eat the bitch and let a body get some peace and bloody quiet!"

He was just about to slam the door for emphasis when the victim shrieked again.

"Spike!"

"Dawn?"

He rushed out to find a large vampire standing behind Dawn, holding her pressed against his chest, his hand at her throat, preparing to sink his fangs into her neck.

"Let her go."His voice was soft and deceptively calm as he approached them in a slow, predatory glide.

The vamp turned his head towards him."Why should I?The Slayer's dead.It's a damn free-for-all, man."

"Sorry, mate, but this one's off limits."Dawn whimpered and Spike felt his vamp face surface and a warning growl rumbled in his throat. "Funny, I never knew there were any hard-of-hearing vampires. I repeat. Let. The girl._Go_."

The other vamp grinned."I don't know, she looks pretty tasty."

Spike reached the two and without warning, his hand lashed out and grabbed the other vampire by the throat, squeezing viciously, crushing the windpipe.Dawn fell to the ground as the vampire released her and tried to wrench Spike's hand away with both hands.Spike clenched his fist tighter, and the other vampire eyes widened and he tried to speak, only managing a mangled gurgle.

Spike bared his fangs."That's better. Now, fortunately for you, I neglected to bring a stake with me.Dawn, did you happen to come prepared?"

With one arm draped across her wounded stomach, she shook her head and gasped out, "No."

"Well, then this is must be your lucky day, so listen well, mate.When your throat heals, I want you to spread the word that this girl is not to be touched.If anyone so much as shows her a scary face, I will hunt _you_ down and make you _wish_ I had a stake with me.Am I clear?"

The vampire sputtered, staring at him with bulging, frightened eyes and Spike clamped down on his throat again, ramming him against the obelisk once more.

"Am I clear?"

The other vampire nodded frantically and Spike threw him through the air.He landed with a pained grunt, rolled several feet then scrambled to his feet and ran out of the cemetery.

Spike shook off his vamp face and held one hand out to Dawn, who gratefully took it and rose to her feet, trembling from her close call.Spike peered into her face.

"Are you all right?"

She shrugged."I'm fine."

"Good."He nodded once before exploding."Then do you want to tell me what in bloody blazes you're doing here alone at night?"

Her mouth dropped open."I was looking for _you_!I - I was worried about you."  
  
"Worried about me?" he asked, taken aback.  
  
"Well...you said you would come to see me. After dark. And it's way after  
dark and you never showed, so..."  
  
"Sorry, Little Bit. I've been...busy." At her skeptical look, he shrugged  
and began walking towards the entrance to the cemetery. "In any case,  
little girls like you should be home tucked into your bed."  
  
"I'm not a little girl," she called to his back.  
  
He responded with a derisive snort.   
  
She hurried to catch up with him, moving into his path and forcing him to a  
stop. She looked up at him with intense eyes. "You promised you'd come."  
  
He sighed and reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, hiding behind the  
motions of lighting one and taking a drag. He blew the smoke out in a long  
slow cloud and spoke as impassively as he could. "Word to the wise, kid.  
It doesn't pay to put much faith in a vampire's word."  
  
She stiffened, her face hardening, and nodded. "Guess not."She did an abrupt about-face and marched towards the entrance of the cemetery.

Spike watched her go, regret and a renewed pain in his eyes, and after a brief internal struggle, he threw the cigarette on the ground, crushed it under his booted foot and followed her out of the cemetery.She looked over her shoulder, saw him coming and began walking faster.He lengthened his stride, not really trying to catch her, but not wanting to lose sight of her either.

"Come on, Little Bit.Wait up."

She started running.

"Bloody hell."

There was no way he was running after some silly girl.A vampire had his dignity to consider, after all.She rounded a corner, moving out of his line of vision.For a fraction of a second, he considered leaving her to her fate.

"Bloody buggering hell," he muttered.

He started running himself and went around the corner just in time to see  
her run up the steps to her front door and disappear into the house. He  
took the steps in two strides and flung the door open.  
  
And immediately was repelled by an invisible barrier.  
  
"What the hell?" His eyes caught Dawn topping the flight of stairs.  
  


"Dawn!"  
  
"Go away!"   
  
She ran into her bedroom and slammed her door shut.Spiked rammed himself against the barrier with a snarl of frustration just as Giles walked into the foyer from the living room.

"It would appear that you haven't been invited."

"I bloody well have!Buffy…"Realization dawned at the pained look on Giles's face and he closed his eyes, murmuring with a slight shake of his head, "And just like that…"

He opened his eyes."I have to talk to Dawn."

"You might have thought of that sooner.I would hazard a guess that she doesn't want to talk to you."

"She's upset…" His voice trailed off as Giles loomed in the doorway, fury in his face.

"Yes!You're bloody right, she's upset!That girl's lost everything that had any meaning for her, and for some bizarre reason she's turned to you for comfort, for some slight measure of stability and you can't be bothered."

"I told you I was _busy_, " Spike said through clenched teeth.

"Busy, were you?Busy doing what?By the smell of you, I'd say you were celebrating the death of the Slayer.Lord knows you wanted it long enough, you've plotted against her so many times I've lost track.How do we know this wasn't another elaborate plot, that you and Glory didn't – "

A threatening growl issued from Spike's throat."That's enough, old man."

"Is it?"

After one tense moment, the fury faded from Giles's face, pain and resignation sliding into place. 

"Yes, I suppose it is." 

He sighed and removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose."I understand that you care for Dawn, in your own way, but she is extremely fragile at the moment and she needs to be surrounded by people she can rely on, ones who have her best interests at heart."

"And that would be you, would it, Watcher?Seems to me you were the one pushing the Slayer to kill her sister."

Giles looked at the vampire with sad, weary eyes."For the sake of the world, Spike. The fate of the world has to be more important than that of one girl."

"_Sod_ the bloody world.Buffy…" His voice cracked the tiniest bit and he swallowed before trying again."Buffy and that girl up there are the only things in this world that mean anything to me.Buffy knew it, which is why she asked _me_ to protect her."

"And a bang-up job you did there, wasn't it?"

Spike opened his mouth to respond, but a harsh voice rang out first.

"Stop it."

They looked towards the stairs to find Dawn standing there, watching them, anger clear in her eyes.

"Just stop it."She descended the steps."If you two want to blame someone, then blame me, because Buffy would still be alive if it weren't for me._Me_.No one else."

"Dawn - "

"Niblet - "

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't bother.You know it's true."

Giles put one hand on her shoulder."Dawn, now is not the time for placing blame."

She shrugged his hand off and looked in challenge from him to Spike."Oh?That's not what it sounded like a minute ago."

The two grown men stood practically squirming before the 14-year-old.She sighed.

"Giles, can I talk to Spike for a minute?Alone?"

He raised his eyebrows a bit, but didn't protest."Yes.Of course.I'll go…make some tea."With one cautionary glance at Spike, he walked into the kitchen.

Arms still crossed, Dawn stared at Spike, the corners of her mouth a little tight.She walked into the living room and her voice floated back to him.

"Come in here."

For the second time in as many days, Spike stepped across the threshold, and he marveled at the pleasure the simple act gave him.What _was_ it about these Summers women that got him so twisted up inside?

Dawn's back was to him as he walked into the living room, but he saw her rub her side.

"You should be resting, Little Bit."

She whirled to face him."I don't want to rest.Every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing..."She stared at him with bleak eyes and gritted her teeth together."I don't want to rest."

God, he knew about those images, and they weren't something he wanted to dwell on in front of the Niblet."Right.Well, then, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Why didn't you come?"

He stiffened. "I was bus - "

"The _real_ reason."

He stared hard at her, but her gaze was unwavering and after a moment he rolled his eyes and sighed. "I was a bit under the weather, I guess you could say."

"You mean you got drunk."

"Or you could say that," he acknowledged.

She considered him before nodding decisively."Then I forgive you."

"Do you now?"He dropped into an armchair, the picture of indifference, doing his best to ignore the relief those words brought him.

"Yes.Just don't do it again."

"Not to worry, Niblet." Seeing the satisfaction on her face, he added, "I won't make the mistake of making a promise I can't keep again." 

"Oh."Her face fell. "But, you will come and see me sometimes, won't you? I mean - I know...you only came around because of Buffy before, but..."

"I would think you'd want to put all this business with vampires and other beasties behind you."

"You're not a beast."

"I'm not?"He looked mildly offended.

"Well - not anymore than Angel is."At the sheer horror that crossed Spike's face, she rushed to add, "Or...or Anya!She used to be a demon and now she's all one of the gang."

"Somebody please just stake me now."He rose to his feet and came to loom over Dawn, who raised her chin and refused to back down."If I'm no better than the Big Broody Soulboy or a human ex-demon who's afraid of bunnies, for God's sake, then I'd just as soon be put out of my misery."

"You know what I mean.You care.You cared about Buffy.I think you care…about me."

He tried one more time, leaning forward and injecting his voice with a touch of menace."I'm an evil, wicked vampire.Can't trust me."

She wasn't buying it."Buffy trusted you."

He straightened, a pained twist to his mouth. "You might want to learn from your sister's mistake."

She lowered her arms, curling her hands into fists at her sides. "It wasn't a mistake."

He shrugged and turned away without responding.

"Spike?"

"What?" he said, wearily rubbing the back of his neck.

"I've been so scared."Though she tried, she couldn't keep a slight catch from her voice.

He faced her again, concern and sympathy replacing the pain in his eyes."It's all over now, Niblet.Nothing more to be frightened of."

"How do we know that?I'm still the Key.What if someone else comes along who wants to open something else?"

"Don't think that's going to happen.One Key per portal, so to speak."

"But what if someone thinks they can use me again?What if someone comes after me?Buffy's gone, and I'm all alone and I'll never feel safe again, and – "She took a sharp breath."I'm just so scared."

"No one's going to hurt you.Giles and the Scoobies will look out for you, you know that."

"I don't want them, I want you."

Okay, even an evil vampire could only resist so much. He walked towards her and in a slow, tentative movement, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek, his cool fingers absorbing the warmth in her face.

"I'll be here if you need me."His thumb gently smoothed a tear from the corner of her eye."Okay?"

She nodded, and as he watched, her lips began to tremble.Without warning, she stepped forward, sliding her hands inside his coat and around his waist and she clutched at him, pressing her face against him, her body shaking.Looking down at her in alarm, he stiffened, his hands hovering in the air above her.

"I miss my mom," she whispered hoarsely.She buried her face into the curve of his shoulder."And Buffy."

"I know, Little Bit."His arms awkwardly circled her, and he held her, swallowing the knot that was forming in his own throat.

"It's not fair."

"No, it's not."

He rested his cheek against the top of her head, closing his eyes when he felt warm tears begin to seep through his shirt.He pulled her closer as she cried, a quiet, aching outpouring of grief.He heard a step behind him, and he tensed, knowing Giles must be watching them, waiting for the Watcher to pull the girl away from him, but without saying a word, the other man turned and walked away.

And Spike, one of the most vicious vampires ever known, cradled the Slayer's sister in his arms, patting her hair, assuring her everything would be all right.He silently repeated his vow - to himself, to Buffy - that nothing and no one would ever hurt this girl again.


End file.
